Vivienne Griffin
The title of this exhibition, ‘I Should Be Doing Something Else Right Now’, comes from your work. Can you tell us about what this title means to you?
I think everyone's work is ultimately biographical, even if it's indirect or abstract. When I started making art work I was a very young single parent - I was also coming out as (no labels ultimately fit, coming out as not straight). I had this constant feeling for most of my adult life that I should be living another life, my time felt stolen from me as a young parent but ultimately when I did get time to myself I’d miss my son and feel groundless. There was always this push and pull, especially when making work, finding justifications for spending money and time on art was sometimes impossible - I just did it anyway without justifying it but always with the sense that I should be doing something else right now. It's the same with poetry and music. How can we say that we have to make art? At the same time no one would want to live in a world without it even in the age of commodification as a form of validation.
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things will change, superficial fast content is becoming boring as I fully immerse myself in it, Instagram gives me a headache, I also love all the memes that are flying around, it's bringing out a hilarious hysterical side of people.
The starting point of the exhibition was to think about the speed at which things change in today’s hyperconnected world. The whole world has now had to get used to an enormous shift in behaviour almost overnight, with lockdowns and social distancing the new normal. How do you feel about this enforced slowness?
It's enforced slowness but it's also an enforced pause; in the house that you are in, the job that you are in, the marriage or relationship or lack of one, the view out your window, where you can walk to - you're suddenly stuck with it. But, it's also a time to accept that we have what we have, what actually matters is our reaction to what's happening. It feels like the fall of or at least a re-evaluation of capitalism. There is a dichotomy between accounts of this situation with some people saying they have ‘never been happier’ while at the same time anonymous numbers rack up on the death rates, a database of nameless statistics, an oversight that they are individuals. The language the UK government used initially was disturbing - like herd immunity - reducing us back to animals in a meat market. The connection to the origins of the virus from wet markets is the best campaign for meat free diets ever.
It’s great that there are good things happening too but hard to hold both experiences at the same time - also I’ve been thinking alot about the the pandemic of fear and its impact on our immune systems; when you are in a state of fear your body is focused on producing cortisol not on boosting your immune system. In that case it’s actually life saving to see good in what is happening, other than just bad news and statistics -
*fear eats the
soul.*
And now,
We Live Online
I’ve been so immersed in the face of my phone and my laptop I almost feel institutionalised by it. Walking through Hackney Central today was like being in a simulacra of what once was. And yet, I never want it to return to the drive towards more, more, more that it once was.
What else should you be doing right now?
Wishfully -
I should be jumping into the Atlantic Ocean
I should be meditating on a mountain in Tibet
I should be singing in a punk band
I should be watching the sunrise in LA
I should be in a desert
I should be building a house in Connemara
I should be writing a book
Reality -
I should be doing my PhD -
I should be running everyday
I should be listening to all those albums I want to listen to
I should be reading all the books I haven't had time to read
I should be recording my own album
I should be meditating
I should be doing all the things I never had time to do
Can you recommend one thing that’s helped you get through this period of self-isolation?
Yes I can.
I started emailing a Tibetan Buddhist nun who is living in a monastery in India. I couldn't help to draw a comparison between her voluntary isolation for a number of years and our enforced isolation. She grew up in Bethnal Green, in the 1970s, at the age of 20 she was ordained in a Tibetan monastery. She asked the head of the monastery if she could go and live in a cave because she felt ostracised as a woman living with monks. She spent thirteen years in this cave - three of which were in silent retreat; Jetsuma Tenzin Palmo.
I have a relationship with emails that started a few years ago where I just pick someone who seems unreachable and then without expecting a response I start a one way conversation - I did this once with my mother who died 24 years ago - it's really cathartic to write into a void. I did get a response from India - I’ve been in touch with a nun from the Indian monastery who has been extremely thoughtful in her response - she also gave me some advice that I don't want to share unless it's one-to-one. There’s a picture of Tenzin on my instagram @vivienne.griffin, DM me if you want to know more.
This time has put my life (everyone's life) under a microscope - problems are magnified. Then there are people with second homes in the countryside who have received a lot of criticism - if I had a house in or near nature I’d have gone there too.
Trying (trying not succeeding) to have a routine around work is also helpful. I am an addict and in sobriety I can use anything else, mostly work but people, places or things. I want to work all of the time but I try to have a daytime schedule and time off in the evening to watch a movie or trash TV.